Dr. SEX

Published February 16, 2012 by Tony

Dr. SEX

for you

Questions and Doubts about Sex & Sexuality that individuals and couples have submitted.

In this article I will post, from time to time, all questions received or read around. I already have some to enter, but please give me time to do it. Visit this page from time to time and you’ll find new “Q & A” added at a later date.
If you want, expose your question (also anonymously) and will receive a reply soon…. Go!
(in case you don’t want that your nickname appears below in the comments area, feel free to contact me by email. Your question may be helpful to those who have your same doubt,  thx).
Answers, opinions and recommendations expressed on this page are personal, therefore, for any doubt or professional consultation you must contact a specialist.

 I’m sorry if the questions are in no particular order, but for better consultation have been divided by subject.)

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FEMALE BODY & SEXUALITY

Is it normal that I feel the need to masturbate several times a day?
Whew! I do not ask how many times you do it, but that’s okay, do it as many times as you want! Indeed, after having known the answer, run to masturbate again… yeah …

Why do men like big boobs?
Interesting question, but difficult to answer … do you know that apes, our ancestors, walked on all fours and female showed in front of males their big ass, and this was an erotic sign. When they began to walk on two feet, then showed mainly their breasts, and also to compensate for the weight, something similar to the buttocks began to develop on the front. Bigger tits bigger erotic sign? Best nursing? Hey, but what does your b/f want to do with your boobs?
Why do guys mind if a girl has already had many intercourse?
Well, it’s like when you buy an item that someone has already used … Sorry I’m always teasing! If it is not for the fact that they may think that vagina is enlarged, it’s merely a psychological issue… everyone likes to have an exclusive or not be the last on the list … no?

Food can be objects of eroticism, but what can I put in my vagina and be safe?
Whew! it is true, sex has no limits and must be imaginative! Okay, I don’t think you want to put inside yourself a dish of spaghetti with tomato sauce. Don’t do it!  Well, the only thing I can advise is to avoid any liquid or sugary foodstuffs, such as cream or pudding that facilitate internal bacterial or fungal infections, although you always have to perform a deep cleaning and disinfection at the end of the play.  Also avoid irritating or too small things, hard to pull off. Fresh vegetables are the best… such as cucumber, courgette or eggplant, after having washed them, of course. Enjoy!


It’s one month I’m with this guy and he tells me he would like to have sex, I mean a full intercourse…. Should I do it?

My dear, no one can tell you if you can do it or not. It’s up to you to decide … you who must feel ready if you believe that he is the right guy to share this wonderful first experience. It is something that you will remember for a lifetime, so it should be done with the person that you will remember with pleasure, even if the relationship will break in the future.


I’m with a guy and we’re having sex regularly but my problem is that I do not like my vagina … every time I take off I wonder if he finds it attractive.
My God, what is wrong with your vagina? Vaginas, like people, are not all the same … don’t trust the ones you see in porn, I assure you that the reality is very different. You must love your body and your vagina as it is, because you certainly can’t have another!


I’m with a guy and we have a sex life, it’s my first relationship and in the past I have ever masturbated. My problem is that I cannot orgasm and he knows it.
Don’t worry because it is not so unusual. Some women begin to have orgasms only when they reach their sexual peak later in the years. To verify that everything is in place, instead of the penetration try to do anything else for a while, such oral sex and masturbation. Relax and enjoy. It may be that in this case you will be able to get an orgasm.


Every time we have sex I feel pain and it is difficult for me to enjoy. He also tried with a small dildo, but all the same it hurts.
Although it is not anything serious you should go to a gynecologist. You must suspend the penetration and in the meantime, if you both can’t do without sex, use some alternative, such as oral sex, anal sex and masturbation.


Together with my partner we do many sex things but not coitus, I mean no actual penis-in-vagina, could I consider myself still a virgin?
Scientifically, a woman is virgin when her hymen is still intact, although it is a term commonly used from people to indicate that a girl has not yet had complete sexual intercourse. Technically, you could be no longer virgin if your hymen was desecrated by the insertion of a dildo, for example. In my opinion you still could be virgin physically, but not mentally.


Is it true that guys like shaved vulva, should I shave?
I think the only one to decide is you. Your body has to like you first and you have to be yourself.


Any advice for a girl who comes but takes too much time?
As you know, orgasm depends on the stimulation of the clit. Have you tried with vibrators? If you already have one, you should choose a more suitable one, even if it costs more.

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GAY

Why do gay guys have more sex and relationships than girls?
Really? Maybe you’re right, but do not forget that they are first of all men, and like all men love sex and are less romantic and possessive than women. I think that for gays the sex appeal has a much greater weight than th one attributed by girls, and this could justify the largest number of relations.


I am a bi and can’t find a guy to have my first gay relationship, maybe because I’m too fat. 

You are what you are and it is not said that you can’t find another stout guy who likes you. Usually, fitness buff guys look for other guys who also are maniac of their body. You should avoid this type of guys. Make more friends and go out, feel confident and proud of the way you are and soon will find a b/f.

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FEMALE SEXUAL ORGAN

I don’t know why but during intercourse my vagina often makes strange sounds like farts …. it’s very embarrassing!
Our body is not as good as we imagine it outside… is tangled, wet, full of humours and stink. Although it is not nice to say, urinate, defecate, fart or burp are normal activities of our body that everyone can’t do without, also if we do it in private. Depending on the shape of the vagina and its movements, during intercourse some sound could be emitted, often also due to the vacuum created by the continuous “pumping” of the penis. Nothing to be ashamed … we are human beings, also when having sex! If your partner is not a Martian should understand and even appreciate it.

Me and my b/f have sex normally, but long since I feel a burning sensation in the genitals that make intercourse uncomfortable or even painful.
It happens and probably is not anything serious, but in any case, for a while you have to stop having sex, and then see. If the inflammation does not go away, it can be a mycosis and the doctor will give to both of you a suitable medicine. In the meantime, you should know, there are other ways to have sex without vaginal penetration … eh?

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HETERO ANAL ACT

We have sex regularly but every time trying to have anal she feels pain, and so we have to give up.

I do not want to know which beast you have between your legs, but know that asshole can be much narrower than vagina, and therefore requires some trick. She must be relaxed as much as possible and at the beginning you should play with your fingers using lubricant. Even your “tool” must be well lubricated and needless to say that the penetration must be done slowly and gently… put it a bit inside, then draw back and let her pain vanish…do it again and again and if the case slipping it more, till she feels no big pain. Try, aware it even could be impossible if her anus is really so tight…. and you too big!

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HETERO ORAL ACT

Me and my b/f have only oral sex but the problem is that I’m the only one to do it, while I’d love if sometimes he also did it….

Hmm… so he only thinks about himself eh? Apparently, he forgets that sex is done in two and that both must enjoy. Well, the next time you meet, tell him : “This time we do it my way!” And then, while you lower your panties, tell him: “You do not even need to pull down your pants now.” For sure he will understand….

I’m not very comfortable performing oral sex and evidently I don’t like it.
Sex, like eating or going to the cinema, is very personal. Now we have to determine if you don’t feel comfortable because you know little about oral sex, or why, a priori, you just don’t like to play with your mouth. In the first case, you should do it in a relaxed way… not consider it an obligation to perform thinking of his enjoyment only. Take a shower and then you both start playing with your genitals. You could also make use of the 69 position, so to enjoy both at the same time. A good blowjob assumes to suck, lick and move to-and-fro, but no one forbids you to spread chocolate or cream on his penis and have a reason more to lick and suck it. If you are tiring and the goal is to let him ejaculate, alternates different foreplay,  you’ll see that sooner or later you will be successful! In the second case, instead, oral sex for you can only be a foreplay to run for a short time before the intercourse, if you want.

 Why does he get mad if I do not want his cum in my mouth?
Ejaculation for man is the end of the sexual act, thus the place where sperm is deposited might not matter but …. for many it is not. For them it is as if the sperm is part of their body, a part of themselves and so also where it ends up becomes part of the erotic play. Exciting even the knowledge that sperm will be filed in your vagina or in your mouth. I realize that some people may not like the taste of semen or tormenting to receive it in the mouth. In the first case, you can swallow immediately without tasting it, in the second case, however, it is up to you to decide what to do and talk about it with him openly. A good relationship is also based on respect of the tastes of the other.

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MALE BODY & SEXUALITY

I am gay and nobody knows. Fortunately, in the place where I’m living and at school there is not a lot of homophobia around. When is the right time for coming out?
It is not an easy answer and not the same for everyone. Everyone must feel ready to take this step, and it would be appropriate to start talking about it with family members first. Then, later, also with close friends. It is certainly a bold and important step that, in any case, is worth addressing because, if nothing else, you get rid of a heavy burden and can begin to live your sexuality in a more explicit manner. But keep in mind that sometimes it is not easy and also assume that there always will be some assholes who will tease you. What else say… if you think it’s time for you to do it… Do it and good luck!

I am a virgin boy, should I say it to my girlfriend?
Looks like you even feel ashamed of your condition. Apart from the fact that also your girlfriend might be virgin, there is nothing to be ashamed, and since every relationship should always be based on sincerity, it would be great if you tell her. Probably escapes you, but girls find this very exciting ….


A lot of guys use to put the finger in the anus when masturbating or are the girls to do that while having sex with them. Why do only a few men admit this and many even feel embarrassed.
Because after all there is still a lot of ignorance and homophobia around. Sexually talking, for many men anus and anal penetration are closely related with homosexual and lecherous sex. Thus, for a “straight” man becomes embarrassing to admit this, passing him unnoticed that “anal sex” is so named because it also is a form of sex, but relegating it to a sex play for gay guys or even for lascivious women. In this restrictive and ancestral perspective, man must give and not receive!


I’ve never had sex, should I wait for one-night stand or to fall in love?
Do not assume that a one-night stand and love are two things separated from each other. Many long-term relationships have started after a simple flirt or not in so romantic situations. Considering that your primary goal is sex, at least for the moment, welcome any one-night sex…


Is it true that some men are capable of multiple orgasms?
Yes, although not a very common phenomenon. I do not know if we can call them supermen because they are able to have more sex without recovery, or defective because this ability comes from an incorrect hormonal mechanism. In fact, after each ejaculation the male body produces some hormones that block the erection, and this is what normally occurs in almost all men.

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MALE SEXUAL ORGAN

Why does his penis has that odd smell? 
Smell? What smell? How long isn’t your boyfriend having a wash? It is a matter of personal hygiene and even your beautiful “shell” stink if you do not wash yourself every day. Know, however, that some penis produces a whitish secretion called “smegma” which accumulates around the glans, and without a proper hygiene lead the penis to stink. Even the urine, if after pissing we do not wash our “willy” then will smell. Tell your boyfriend to wash several times a day and you’ll see that his appendix won’t stink anymore.


My boyfriend has a very small penis but I do not feel like leaving him.
Since the sexual enjoyment for women is mainly due to the clit, which is located at the entrance of the vagina, even a very small penis is able to give pleasure. Then, it is said that those who have a small penis balance their “handicap” through better performance. Now, it all depends on why you stay with him. If it’s just for a sex based relation, then it should not be hard for you to leave him … but please do not tell him that you are doing it for the size of his penis!

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RELATIONSHIP (ABOUT WOMEN)

I’m a bi girl but my b/f doesn’t know… I need some gay intercourse too but scared to say this to him.
Well, everyone has own sexuality and must be respected for that. You have the right to live it fully and can’t live a lie. Look at the situation from this perspective, tell him the truth and if he doesn’t agree, it means that he is not the right guy for you. I am sure that sooner or later you will find the right guy and in the meantime, yeah… have fun with some girl.

I love my boyfriend and having sex, but he seems insatiable! He wants to have intercourse several times a day and I sincerely need a break from time to time.
OMG! At these levels I do not know if you can consider yourself lucky or not… some girl would be, but you’re right … too much is too much. Well, tell him that in a couple relationship does not exist only sex … and also that he shouldn’t “waste” all his “stokes” in a so short time! Maybe this bullshit will put him on alert… anyway, if you don’t succeed, tell him that your vagina needs vacation, and that you can meet his needs without put down your panties….. do you know about masturbation and oral?

After over a year with a guy I realized that he was gay and we broke up. I have suffered and I would avoid it to happen again.
I understand but many gay boys have intercourse or date with girls for not being outdone by their straight friends or maybe just to understand their true sexual identity. I think you had already got wind of this and probably have underestimated your feeling. There are things that we feel by instinct and we must rely in them This relationship has been helpful, so in the future you won’t fall into the same error, and if you have some doubt can talk with his friends or have a chat with his ex-girlfriends, breaking immediately the relation if the case.

Maybe I’m too instinctive. Due to the fact that I have always asked my boyfriends to have sex, now I unfortunately have the reputation that wants to have always sex, like a randy!
They are usually boys who ask girls to have sex, just a male stereotype, so if the opposite occurs, this already can annoy them, besides it is a commonplace that are the girls who do not want to have sex, and the fact that a boy doesn’t feel like, then puts him in a quandary. Boys also are under pressure and must demonstrate that they always want to have sex, but it can happen that they don’t want to, that have a low sex-drive or that simply they are tired. You should revise the way you place yourself towards them.

My boyfriend wants to do strange things …
There are no normal or abnormal guys, as well as in sex there are not abnormal things …. you just have to play with him and have fun. If you now leave a fetishist, then your next boy could be a necrophiliac!

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RELATIONSHIP (ABOUT MEN)

I am a student and not from here, so my house is not close to the school. I do not have my own room and so I have problems with my girlfriend when we want to have sex. A boy should not go to his girlfriend’s home and if we go to my house what do I say to my parents?
Bad situation …. I understand, going back and forth … and it’s not nice that the next morning your girlfriend meets your father while having breakfast …. what could she say? Eheheheh…  I’m sorry but I think, at least for the moment, you have no other choice…. depending on your parents mindset, they could understand and…. have breakfast all together…. no?

Despite 19 years I have not had a girlfriend yet. I know that am not cute and that my body isn’t sexy and so it’s normal that girls do not consider me.
I don’t believe you aren’t nice because each of us is different from another… is unique and has its own peculiarities. First of all, you have to stop thinking negative or that you aren’t handsome. By doing so, you become a wuss and people turn away from you. Who’s to say that in you there not is something that appeals to a girl? And then beauty is not everything! Make new friends, spend more time with them without considering yourself less than others, and you’ll see that sooner or later you’ll have a girl.

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SEX INTERCOURSE

During sex I always put onto my b/f because this’s the only way I can reach an orgasm, why?
Know that women have only the clitoral orgasm and it happens that during intercourse, according to the position, the penis doesn’t stimulate the clit appropriately… so you need to do it… you must do it! Finger during intercourse or let him do it and you’ll see that, whatever the position, you will enjoy!

Is it normal that while we are going to have sex his dick is still limp?
No, it’s not normal … what the heck it then needs to become stiff? I do not know how many times you are having sex and if by chance he needs a break, but if this is not the issue then for sure it is him to have one… especially if he is not a sixty …

Why does most guys want to finish on my face?
Good question! I don’t think we do it because know in advance that our partner is pleased to receive it on her face. No, I think of not. I can’t tell exactly why then. But I can tell you that since there is pornography, we always have watched that each ejaculation goes in three well defined places: on the face if you are practicing a blowjob; on the belly after an intercourse or on buttocks in the case of anal sex. It is alike a standard. See, during intercourse the animal side of us men comes out, and in some respects, this gesture may appear as an act of dominance …. but I prefer to consider it as an act of “sharing” …. In the end it’s up to you to decide where he must “throw it away”…

Why is foreplay more stimulating than the actual penis-in-vagina sex?
I think I’ve already given an answer to a previous question similar to this. However, I repeat, although there is an enjoyment of the vaginal duct, due to the penetration,  woman gets the most pleasure and stimulation through the clit. Therefore, if during sexual intercourse is not a regular clitoral stimulation, it will be more difficult for woman to reach an orgasm. I recommend to everyone, men and women, to do it, by fingers or dildo, during the intercourse
… there is nothing wrong with that, is part of woman’s sexuality and, as said, both must enjoy.

How do I know if my girlfriend is pretending to orgasm?
Unfortunately, it is not possible to know if a woman really has reached an orgasm. Usually, the vaginal duct twitches and becomes wet during the orgasm. Pretending to masturbate each other, you can, however, be more likely to know if she really is enjoying and orgasming.

Is it true that having sex by condom leads to a loss of sensitivity?
If I say that is absolutely untrue, I would say certainly a bullshit, because the condom is always a device which overlaps the contact. But I ask you – is better to lose a little in sensitivity or make pregnant a girl, or worse yet, get landed with HIV. Today in the market there are many types of condoms and if you have these problems can always choose the most thin. I guess you both are healthy…. so, you can have sex without condoms when the relationship becomes stable and both of you have no sex relations with other people and if she will use a birth control pills.


How to convince her to have sex when she has her period?
Having sex during menstruation is not forbidden or dangerous. It depends on the girl and her physiological and mental situations. It is quite normal to have a decreased libido during period and there are girls who also feel pain and get a bad temper. In these conditions it is advisable to avoid being sensitive. For other girls, instead, it is only a psychological issue.

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SPERM

What does happen if I ejaculate on her eyes?
Wow, you like spraying everywhere!  Have you noticed that lately she has difficulty with her eyesight, maybe….. Joking aside, in the past it was said that sperm was great for the skin … true or false, do not fear…. no problem, but from time to time choose another target … okay?

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