ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, NIHILISM
I know that the human race can be divided into optimists and pessimists, like saying good-natured and disheartened, trusting and suspicious.
But who of you have never had periods of total demolition, abandonment and despair?!
Now, and for a long time, this is for me one of those moments that many would call of existential crisis, depression.
Apathy, indifference, anxiety and despair become problems to be reckoned with at all times. They are the ones that bring you down during the day and pull you out of bed at night.
Those old questions that no one has yet found an answer – and probably never will find – become a boulder on the shoulders, hamletic doubts, a source of anger and resentment.
Nihilism takes slowly and inexorably foot.
That little bit of faith you’ve conquered over the years falters, hesitates, requires clarity.
Strange, even so, I’d like to be a Tibetan Monaco who lives alone on a remote mountain in close contact with nature.
You become more introspective, and even if the dialogue makes little sense – and seems to become a better listener – you start to questioning on the meaning of every little thing.
Then suddenly fear fills yourself, haunt you, stop you.
The world may also end for you now….. on the other side, what fucking meaning has it, this remains uncertain.
Mind begins to take into account the strangest statistics, as well as how many moments of happiness or sorrow – in hours – we have in our lives.
Since joy or happiness for themselves are feelings much more unstable and less durable of sadness and pain, then unnecessary to compute: our life is made up of more suffering than joy, for sure!
I wonder if at the time of the Celts and Greeks existed depression or anxiety and if they too were asking themselves our same questions.
What do you say, I really need Prozac?
Hmmmm …… maybe it would take a severe treatment……