Published February 5, 2013 by Tony


I know that the human race can be divided into optimists and pessimists, like saying good-natured and disheartened, trusting and suspicious.
But who of you have never had periods of total demolition, abandonment and despair?!
Now, and for a long time, this is for me one of those moments that many would call of existential crisis, depression.
Apathy, indifference, anxiety and despair become problems to be reckoned with at all times. They are the ones that bring you down during the day and pull you out of bed at night.
Those old questions that no one has yet found an answer – and probably never will find – become a boulder on the shoulders, hamletic doubts, a source of anger and resentment.
Nihilism takes slowly and inexorably foot.
That little bit of faith you’ve conquered over the years falters, hesitates, requires clarity.
Strange, even so, I’d like to be a Tibetan Monaco who lives alone on a remote mountain in close contact with nature.
You become more introspective, and even if the dialogue makes little sense – and seems to become a better listener – you start to questioning on the meaning of every little thing.
Then suddenly fear fills yourself, haunt you, stop you.
The world may also end for you now….. on the other side, what fucking meaning has it, this remains uncertain.
Mind begins to take into account the strangest statistics, as well as how many moments of happiness or sorrow – in hours – we have in our lives.
Since joy or happiness for themselves are feelings much more unstable and less durable of sadness and pain, then unnecessary to compute: our life is made up of more suffering than joy, for sure!
Sad realization!
I wonder if at the time of the Celts and Greeks existed depression or anxiety and if they too were asking themselves our same questions.
What do you say, I really need Prozac?
Hmmmm …… maybe it would take a severe treatment……



  • Where do positive thinking people go, where do they live, what do they do? I know it is important to know what is going on, to read web pages that give you the latest conspiracies, the lies, and that the world is run by psychopaths also called sociopaths, and it is all very true and very sad, but then? What do we do and where can we go? Back to our home planet, where love and sharing have a less corrupted meaning?

    Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? A world of harmony and sharing. Life on planet earth could be so close to that dream, if only we wanted it. Really wanted it, with hard work, but…it is so hard to leave our bubble of consumption bliss, where we have life- insurance (is that guaranteed happiness forever?), house insurance, health insurance (you’ll always be healthy and live long), made funeral arrangements and insured those, too. We even consume politics as the biggest show on earth, and look forward to the next free elections, where we can vote for….yes, for what?
    Again, this is a sad affair, a global sad affair, and there is no escape, so what do we do as thinking seeing feeling people? How can we keep our eyes and hearts open and still find happiness and peace?

    Real thinking people also know what not-thinking is, also called the stopping of thinking or thoughts. Meditation can bring you there. It opens many doors, it gives peace, it teaches love, it will also give you some real power. It will even give a bit of peace to the people around you, but it does not change the world. Many people have tried that for centuries and did not succeed.
    Where shall we go from here?
    My answer would be to cling to your fought for sanity and harmony as much as possible, and I am just curious about the answers of other thinking well-meaning people out there.
    Bless y’all from the island of Eire.

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