Mom’s lover

Published July 6, 2013 by Tony


"Mia madre" painting by R.Vespignani

From centuries in the South we have a “special” relationship with our mother, sung by immigrants of the early twentieth century, sacred and miraculous like the blood of San Gennaro, too protective, but not exhibited, least of all in public events.
This is what differentiates us from Americans, British, French or Germans, who unlike us Italians do not feel embarrassed to show themselves together their mothers, even at social occasions. For example, Ryan Gosling or Justin Bieber appear on the “red carpet” with their respective moms without any embarrassment.
Whether he is the adolescent who is experiencing his troublesome years of development or the fifty year old professional, here the embarrassment is transverse, has no age or social position, and the specter of the “mum addiction” (mammismo), especially the one that smacks of homosexuality, affects the social life, becomes uncomfortable and inhibit at public level. If here the relationship with the mom is most felt and imposing, there are no backed explanations and it may be because everything is precarious for decades, innate fears and the insecurity of the present and future brings the mother-child relationship to become something essential, the only true and reliable certainty that the child has, especially when the dad is more absent.

In this period that I am on holiday and going to the beach, I see many mamma’s boys that go around on the beach with their mums, they walk hand in hand along the foreshore or lie down together under the sun umbrella as two lovers. A world of pampering, caressing, confessions, through an ethical and psychological relationship that goes beyond the traditional mother-son relationship, one in which we all, of previous generations, were not used to.
This inevitably leads to a delay in the boy “maturation“, but nowadays, where everything goes at a slow pace and people do not program over the next weekend, we cannot ask for more.
Inevitably, this close relationship with the mother precludes other important relations. Too bad, because at 15-16 years it is already an age when young guys could and should do certain useful life experiences that take on a different flavor if made at 20.

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