questions

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Is it real love?

Published June 16, 2013 by Tony

How to tell if a new relationship will last

Summer, time for vacation, for encounters and…. flirts.
Whether he is to take the first step or she to wink, the question that often arises is: will it be an enduring love story?
Hard to say but some tips can come in handy.

Beyond physical attraction that led you to take the first step, I think it goes without saying that thru the second step you gotta check whether there are common interests, something that many underestimate.
Having more than one interest in common leads you to spend free time together, both of you intent to make or attend in the same event, and have some interesting topics of discussion.

Lifestyle of each of you is another important parameter to be evaluated. It is true that “love” can overcome many obstacles, but in the long run it stress you out and can lead to a break.

While dating or at the beginning of your living together, observe well your partner’s behavior and words.
“We” is an important word in a relationship, perhaps even more than “I love you”. Saying “we” means unconsciously a real intention to bring forward a superficial relationship, to feel part of a duo and a sincere feeling.
The wish for a trip together, the toothbrush put next to yours in the bathroom, fantasize about a future coexistence, they are all signs of a planning! This means that he/she is serious in the choice!

If your relationship starts to extend beyond yourself, and your partner wants more and more to share the “personal” affective sphere (talking of relatives and friends), bringing you into his/her world through the story of important events, well, this is the real transition between a simple infatuation and the beginning of serious relationship!

If you’re carrying he/she in your world through personal and familiar confidences and he/she is distracted, or if he/she looks bored when is together your friends and family members, it means that he/she does not want to consolidate the bond and do not want to go “beyond” the two of you. In this case, it is as to mean “do not run, it’s just an attraction.”

If your new partner does not plan anything, if the time spent with you is always deliberately “sipped,” and the word “future” is still a taboo, it is clear that for he/she this is just a adventure.

NAPLES TOUR

Published January 22, 2013 by Tony

A TOUR IN NAPLES
TYPICAL QUERIES

Pompeii, fresco

Often some foreign people, intending to visit Naples, ask me for advice and tips for their tour.
In general, the questions are always the same: where to stay, places or things not to miss, or possible risks.
Tourists are not all the same, everyone has their own preferences, as well as a Spanish tourist can be different from an American, or a couple with children with different needs from a guy in search of adventure. Therefore, the advice may be different according to the type of people and from what they intend to do, and depending on the length of stay, of course.
One thing I tell everyone about their stay’s length is to take into account that such a journey happens once in a lifetime, so, they should plan a longer stay to be able to see things and places that really deserve to be seen.
Naples and its surroundings have so many interesting things to see that it would be a shame to come here and leave without having visited them. Therefore, I always pray everyone  to stay a few more days, and they will not regret, for sure.

PLACE TO SEE
One thing is certain, places of cultural interest and natural beauties are so Royal Palace in Casertanumerous that you should prepare in advance a program of things to do day by day, as long as you also are willing to move and travel if necessary. The advice that can be given to the tourist who prefer a holiday more on history and art, will be different from those given to that who is more interested in beauty and landscape or to Neapolitan’s culture and traditions.
In addition, for lovers of novelty or unusual places, Naples offers many attractions that are often unavailable or not even mentioned among the Villa D'Esteusual excursions found on most leaflets. It is true that a trip to Capri or Sorrento coast are a must, popular locations advertised by all travel agencies and therefore visited by any tourist coming to Naples, but believe me, there are other places, less known and not advertised, that will give to your trip a touch of uniqueness that few others will have the luck to see. Not so many tourists know that in less than one hour drive by Naples they can enjoy a visit to the Royal Palace in Caserta, with its beautiful furnished rooms and its large garden with fountains that can also be visited Villa Adrianaat night by beautiful lighting effects.
If you are among the fortunate few who have planned a very long vacation, then, after having spent most of the time to visit the city with its many monuments, churches, ruins and museums, and after an excursion to Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii, if you have other time available, please note that Naples is a few kilometres from the province of Rome where there are other fascinating places to visit, and I advise “Villa d’Este” and “Hadrian’s Villa”  in Tivoli, or  the “Sanctuary of Montagna Spaccata” in Gaeta, for example.

ACCOMODATION
Naples is not an expensive city and being in the South is certainly cheaper Montagna Spaccatathan Venice or Florence. However, if you are a young tourist or have a more limited budget, a “bed & breakfast” at a hotel in the outskirts could be a solution, rather than in a hotel located in the center.

And what about the RISKS?
To this question I usually say that Naples is not riskier than New York or Madrid. However, everybody who contacts me I advise a few (behavioural) rules to follow in order to decrease the risk, concluding then to come here without trouble and enjoy anyhow this city that has no similarities in the world.

Children Embarrassing Questions

Published October 6, 2012 by Tony

Things we should say to our children

We are not born as parents, but we try anyway to become one even if at school “parenting” is not a subject of study.
Parenting is not an easy task, for many.
Apart from the usual problems that all children give, what many find difficult and embarrassing are some questions that children often submit them. About, there are different philosophies, with those who believe it is better to evade the questions, partly because unprepared to provide the right answer, and those who, a few actually, believe it is opportune to discuss everything.
One thing is certain, the children are not as unprepared or unready to assimilate certain subjects. On the contrary, for some topic it is best to deal in advance and be clear with them.
In all honesty, when my offspring were children, I do not recall having received embarrassing questions but, if they did I think I would have tried to answer using words appropriate to their age and knowledge.
Depending on the age of the child, it could happen that he/she tries to find elsewhere the answers to the questions that parents were unwilling or unable to respond. Still, it’s likely that children no longer will ask for those questions, even if they have not found answers.
Our children are more mature than we suppose, and why take the risk that they acquire erroneous concepts by third parties, or that they remain unprepared on topics that, who knows why, many still find inopportune and embarrassing. War, violence, religions, quarrels, sex, relationship, illnesses, addictions  and discrimination are part, as always, of our lives, for better or for worse, so why should we refrain from talking about these important issues?
If  children does not grasp some concept, parents can say that they will understand more over time, but at least we tried to explain things and they will have had an inkling of what it is. Better a poor explanation than silence or embarrassment that, on the contrary, will turn on the child’s
imagination and curiosity. This because, as said,  many parents underestimate the insight and sensitivity of their children!
It may be that my children have not put any question about sex when still 
babies because I bought the “Encyclopédie de la vie sexuelle” by Cohen and Nathan Kahn, divided into 5 tomes, each targeted to an age group and starting from 7 years. The first two books, designed for children aged from 7 to 9 and from 10 to 13, speak of a family with a son and a daughter. The first volume, as a little story, is about two people who meet, get engaged, married and then having two children. Through simple drawings the human body is shown, its physiology, its development, the sexual act till conception. The second volume, although similar to the first as a structure, is more exhaustive and instead of drawings shows real images of the family. Each topic is covered in the different tomes and by numerous images nothing is seen as inconvenient or embarrassing. Just everything kids need to know about sex. I do not know if my children have read these books, but if they did it, they had the first right approach to sexuality.These books or similar ones can help some parents to give the answers that surely their kids will ask them, such as the classic and evergreen question:

How babies are made?” – or,  “What sex is?” – and unless you are addressing a very young child, please do not say that he/she “is brought by the stork” or “was born under cabbages” in the garden!!

If they ask you what the “willies” or the “pussy” is,  with confidence you can say that it is our sexual organ by which in addition to pee, when they grow up and get married, will allow them to have children. Of course, much depends on the age of the child and in case of a teen or pre-teen asking for these questions, the answers should be more detailed and in-depth. In fact, at that age the sexual development has begun and there also are other important issues such as lust, masturbation, erection, ejaculation, menstruation, conception, STDs or condom which should be treated, even if in a simple and concise way. There are many men who when teenagers have discovered by themselves – not without trauma – what the erection meant, while the ejaculation led them believe to be sick even!
Unless you’re a puritan with narrowness of mind, make your children understand that sex, regardless of gender, is a natural thing…. already there are too many bullies and homophobes around, please try not to train another one!

Here are some images captured by these books.