relationship

All posts tagged relationship

Mom’s lover

Published July 6, 2013 by Tony

AN EMBARRASSING RELATIONSHIP

"Mia madre" painting by R.Vespignani

From centuries in the South we have a “special” relationship with our mother, sung by immigrants of the early twentieth century, sacred and miraculous like the blood of San Gennaro, too protective, but not exhibited, least of all in public events.
This is what differentiates us from Americans, British, French or Germans, who unlike us Italians do not feel embarrassed to show themselves together their mothers, even at social occasions. For example, Ryan Gosling or Justin Bieber appear on the “red carpet” with their respective moms without any embarrassment.
Whether he is the adolescent who is experiencing his troublesome years of development or the fifty year old professional, here the embarrassment is transverse, has no age or social position, and the specter of the “mum addiction” (mammismo), especially the one that smacks of homosexuality, affects the social life, becomes uncomfortable and inhibit at public level. If here the relationship with the mom is most felt and imposing, there are no backed explanations and it may be because everything is precarious for decades, innate fears and the insecurity of the present and future brings the mother-child relationship to become something essential, the only true and reliable certainty that the child has, especially when the dad is more absent.

In this period that I am on holiday and going to the beach, I see many mamma’s boys that go around on the beach with their mums, they walk hand in hand along the foreshore or lie down together under the sun umbrella as two lovers. A world of pampering, caressing, confessions, through an ethical and psychological relationship that goes beyond the traditional mother-son relationship, one in which we all, of previous generations, were not used to.
This inevitably leads to a delay in the boy “maturation“, but nowadays, where everything goes at a slow pace and people do not program over the next weekend, we cannot ask for more.
Inevitably, this close relationship with the mother precludes other important relations. Too bad, because at 15-16 years it is already an age when young guys could and should do certain useful life experiences that take on a different flavor if made at 20.

Is it real love?

Published June 16, 2013 by Tony

How to tell if a new relationship will last

Summer, time for vacation, for encounters and…. flirts.
Whether he is to take the first step or she to wink, the question that often arises is: will it be an enduring love story?
Hard to say but some tips can come in handy.

Beyond physical attraction that led you to take the first step, I think it goes without saying that thru the second step you gotta check whether there are common interests, something that many underestimate.
Having more than one interest in common leads you to spend free time together, both of you intent to make or attend in the same event, and have some interesting topics of discussion.

Lifestyle of each of you is another important parameter to be evaluated. It is true that “love” can overcome many obstacles, but in the long run it stress you out and can lead to a break.

While dating or at the beginning of your living together, observe well your partner’s behavior and words.
“We” is an important word in a relationship, perhaps even more than “I love you”. Saying “we” means unconsciously a real intention to bring forward a superficial relationship, to feel part of a duo and a sincere feeling.
The wish for a trip together, the toothbrush put next to yours in the bathroom, fantasize about a future coexistence, they are all signs of a planning! This means that he/she is serious in the choice!

If your relationship starts to extend beyond yourself, and your partner wants more and more to share the “personal” affective sphere (talking of relatives and friends), bringing you into his/her world through the story of important events, well, this is the real transition between a simple infatuation and the beginning of serious relationship!

If you’re carrying he/she in your world through personal and familiar confidences and he/she is distracted, or if he/she looks bored when is together your friends and family members, it means that he/she does not want to consolidate the bond and do not want to go “beyond” the two of you. In this case, it is as to mean “do not run, it’s just an attraction.”

If your new partner does not plan anything, if the time spent with you is always deliberately “sipped,” and the word “future” is still a taboo, it is clear that for he/she this is just a adventure.

Gabriele D’Annunzio

Published March 8, 2013 by Tony

The aidoiomaniac D’Annunzio
An Intellectual More than a Playboy

Gabriele D'Annunzio

Gabriele d’Annunzio (1863 -1938), also known as “il Vate” (the prophet), was an Italian writer, poet, politician and journalist, who coming from a middle class family became a symbol of the Italian Decadence and famous for his compositions as well as for his particular sexual habits.
Porco alato e geniale” (Pig winged and genius), he described himself, while biographers addressed him as “Genius and recklessness“.  Among the aspects of the writer’s Decadence, there is aestheticism art, or art conceived as Beauty which must be above all; the practical aestheticism, according to which also the life must be realized in absolute freedom, outside and above every law and moral restraint; the panismo which is the tendency to surrender to the life of the senses and instincts, and finally the man as “superman“, the ruler of a world beyond good and evil, where instinct is the only truth because morality is a lie, and where the man that resembles the beast then outdoes man, beyond human becoming hero, while getting rid of the ethics that prohibits lust, he can dare everything that gives pleasure. A description, this, that is very close to the aberrant “Superman” concept conceived by Nietzsche.

Already in his youth, d’Annunzio showed an ambitious and uninhibited character and, in fact, at sixteen already had his first sexual experience. In Florence, during a school trip, he evaded janitor’s surveillance and with a gold wristwatch, a gift of his grandfather, paid a prostitute with whom he wished to have sex.
In 1881 he moved to Rome to continue his studies at the university, where,  trying to reach fame and glory, attended worldly circles of Roman salons, beginning to appreciate the sumptuous and scandalous lives of the rich bourgeoisie, through adventures and love stories. His exceptional sexuality blew and he will earn in emotions and sex delights, even if this entailed moral values violation. According to some biographers, his actual d'Annunzio at 10 yearsmistresses were hundred and fifty. Half a thousand for some, and even four thousand according to others, with the inevitable cocaine snorting.

As the biographers say, this “sex superman” really did not love all those women, except perhaps, a little bit, Maria Hardouin and Eleonora Duse. Maria Hardouin was the daughter of Giulio, Duke of Gallese, who d’Annunzio married at 20 years in 1883, probably for reasons of interest and because of noble rank. They had met a few years earlier and a love at first sight, but even though a minor, during a walk the lecherous man took her to a grove, on the outskirts of Rome, and deflowered her. Among the collection of poems “Intermezzo di rime” also is included “Peccato di maggio“, in which the writer described in detail what happened in the woods. The young Duchess soon became pregnant, raising a scandal. The Duke Giulio, furious, vetoed the marriage and denounced d’Annunzio for corruption of minors, despite his wife, Mary’s mother, called for a shotgun wedding. In response, the two lovers fled together and got married in a hurry, but without the consent of the duke, who did not want to see anymore both his daughter and the son-in-law.

A marriage that will last long but unfortunate for the young lady, also if from their union were born three children. “My dear Gabriele was a husband physically incapable of being faithful,” the Duchess bitterly confessed later, when after the third child will separate from him. In fact, the new series of post-marriage lovers began immediately with the journalist Olga Roman Ossani, then followed by Elvira Natalia Fraternali, estranged wife of Count Ercole Leoni, although in the meantime the writer were not shirking to his conjugal “duty”. Hard days for Elvira because meantime the “supreme Vate”  had already set his sights on the Sicilian Princess Maria Gravina Cruyllas Ramacca, which he called a “erotic nymphomaniac”. A good match! In a tormented relationship lasted three years, the Sicilian princess gave birth to two children, Ariel’s sons (the personal nickname of the poet), who legitimated only the first child. It was 1895 when he began his relationship with the famous actress Eleonora Duse, who was in search of a true love and believed to have found it by Ariel. And the illusion of love will cost her dearly, and not just for the money that the loved boyfriend snatched her by deception, but because while she was sacrifying her prestige, exposing herself to the audience boos, he already was enjoying with a new paramour, the young actress Juliet Gordigiani. Actress, young and beautiful, but poor and this was not good for him that needed rich women. “I forgive him to Maria Gravina with the daugtherhave abused of myself, ruined and humiliated me. I forgive everything because I loved him”,  Duse said when left him definitively.

After a while, the tireless lover found another right woman, Alessandra Starabba Rudini, twenty-eight beautiful and rich, widow of the Marquis Carlotti.
His biographers say that in three years of living together, the great showman D’Annunzio got by the Marchesa Rudini amounts ten times higher than the one extorted to Duse in nine years. The last two years were very sad for the marquise because fell seriously ill, but meanwhile, the host had already a new mistress for giving vent to his inexhaustible lust, the Countess Josephine Mancini.
However, when he was no longer able to cope with the many creditors, decided it was time for a change of scenery and moved alone to Paris. The great seducer had already chosen the appropriate girlfriend to live and work peacefully in Paris, the Russian countess (French by adoption) Natalia de Goloubeff, 27, separated from her husband, who welcomed him at her home in Paris. The combination was perfect, he needed money and she sex.
Fool of the blackest Slavic massacre,” he said about her, as she considered him “crazy for sex and beautiful women, virile and perfumed as few“. But, as soon as her financial resources were lost, due to the Bolshevik revolution in Russia, Ariel left her. During the last of the five years spent in Paris, he had some French sex playmates, as Marie de Regnier and Amélie Mazoyer, his housekeeper nicknamed Aelis (24 years less than the prophet), who followed him in Italy, when he returned in 1915 to become a soldier, enlisting as a volunteer during the First World War.
Besides devotion, one of Aelis’s quality that d’Annunzio appreciated more, especially with the passing of years, was a not common skill for fellatio, hence her nickname Aelis from helice, “helix” in French. “She has a beautiful mouth, in addition to the hand that gives oblivion,” Gabriele said of her.
During the conflict he lost partial vision in one eye, but as a man of theater, he participated more in the war performing on the stage, representing his true and false war actions, rather than by real.
In 1921, in Gardone, in the picturesque scenery of Lake Garda, d’Annunzio found the house of his dreams: a large villa of 36 rooms, which he titled the “Vittoriale of the Italians”.  After the restoration work, carried out with the financial support of Mussolini, he made it a national monument, donating it to the Italian State for paying his debts.
Mussolini also gave him what the bourgeois writer always had dreamed, Eleonora Duseproposing him for a nobiliar title, then conferred in 1924 by King Vittorio Emanuele III, letting he became the Prince of Montenevoso.

In spite of his advanced age, in those years other lovers followed, as the writer from Trieste Olga Levi Brunner,  the Venetian pianist Luisa Bàccara, and a certain Leila, all younger than him.
In that palace-mausoleum, the Prince of Montenevoso spent the last seventeen years of his mad and adventurous life, with profound suffering for his physical decline, often expressed by behavioral oddities and excessive frugality or sullenness, but always obsessed by sex, by frantic search of pleasure, eroticism and lust, and now even devoting more himself in masturbation, despite the age.
The last two women that remained close to him, were the faithful Aélis and Bàccara, forced to watch also to his bleak and dismal degradation, like satyr erotic rites that the seventy year old man organized from time to time. Gabriele d’Annunzio, the magician of perversion, among other things also invented the macabre eroticism, while lying naked in a coffin some prostitutes, also naked, kissed him from head to toe. Although nothing is written about, it is said that the teacher did not disdained others pervy sex affairs like pissing, shitting, and that maybe took away two ribs to better practice self-fellatio, all things truly uncommon for that era.
Gabriele d’Annunzio died at 75 years for a brain hemorrhage, and at his funeral, as well as Mussolini, attended his wife with three children, Amélie Mazoyer and Luisa Baccara, (Duse had died 14 years before). As he had Amélie Mazoyerdecided, was buried in the small temple of the Holocaust, on top of the Vittoriale.

D’Annunzio was not handsome, neither rich, nor reliable, and for this arises the question, what did so many ladies, rich and beautiful, drive in his arms?!
Probably, the famous American dancer Isadora Duncan was right, saying about him, “a lover so great as to turn the most ordinary woman, and give her for a moment the appearance of a celestial being?”
The perverse lover designed by himself some clothes and then gave them to women, from time to time, to wear and represent the erotic scene that he had chosen. Clothes that transformed them in moths ready to burn devoutly wings to his flame. Only the sinuous and fatal painter Tamara de Lempicka was able to sneak out from the arms of the famous satyr.
In his house also special perfumes and incense were not lacking, as well as a well equipped wardrobe in which were found two hundred silk shirts, fifty hats  two hundred pairs among shoes and boots, three hundred pairs of socks, fifty silk pajamas and gowns, and boxes with vagina’s hairs that he kept in memory of his mistresses. Just “an animal of luxury” as he called himself.  “When D’Annunzio loves a woman, exalts and elevates the soul above the earth, to the divine regions where moves and shines Dante’s Beatrice. From time to time, he let women participate in the divine essence and leads so high as to cause them to imagine they are really on the same level of Beatrice… there was a time in Paris, where the cult of D’Annunzio touched dizzying heights and they were all famous beauties to love him. But when the whim of the poet ended, he abandoned his mistress on duty for another“, so Mrs. Duncan wrote in her memoirs, who had with d’Annunzio an intense but short relationship.
In fact, it was always him to tire of the most beautiful and passionate women.
His only fault, if it can be defined so, was the bad habit of wasting considerable wealth for voluptuous things, and for this he is often found in bad waters and full of debt,  for which in 1910, there will seizure and sale of his goods.

The women he met, young and old, were all at his feet, happy to be desired by the most famous “tombeur de femmes” of Italian literature, ready to give herself to him body and soul, and that in addition to opening their legs, also opened their bags to pay his debts.
If it is not for wellness or charm, then why that? This is a good reason to suppose that D’Annunzio was a gifted, moreover, in an old Italian porno film, during the pioneer and illegal pornography period, among other collaborators in the captions is also read the name of Gabriele D’Annunzio. Of course, besides the use of the word, he knew how to use his sexual organ that he called “gonfalon selvaggio” (wild flag), and his exceptional libido led him to have, evidently, sexual performance record, or more intercourse without long breaks, and not for nothing that he was labeled “thirsty for sex“, all things that, alas, ravish many women.

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Greek Myths Sexuality

Published February 23, 2013 by Tony

Greek Myths Sexuality
Erotic fancy Scenario III

 Statue d'Apollon, Musée archéologique de Naples, Italie

Apollo, Zephyrus and Hyacinth

The god Apollo was the illegitimate son of Zeus and Leto (Latona), twin brother of Artemis.
When Zeus’ wife Hera discovered that Leto was pregnant and that Zeus was the father, she banned Leto from giving birth on “terra firma”. In her wanderings, Leto found the newly created floating island of Delos, which was neither mainland nor a real island. Here, she gave birth there, without infringing the provisions of the queen of Olympus, and was accepted by the people, offering them her promise that her son would be always favorable toward the city. Afterwards, Zeus secured Delos to the bottom of the ocean. This island later became sacred to Apollo.
Apollo, deity of ancient Greece, was the god of all the arts, medicine, music and prophecy, and its main symbol was the Sun. In Greek culture he was characterized by ineffability, by an androgynous figure and by a look of a hunter, wolf chaser (hence Apaliunas Lyceus).

Hyacinth, statue by François Joseph Bosio, Louvre
Apollo is usually depicted crowned with laurel, plant a symbol of victory, under which some legends says that this god was born. His typical attributes were the bow and the lyre. Animals sacred to him were swans (symbol of beauty), and the rooster as a symbol of homosexual love, since he fell in love with several men. Apollo had many epithets, designed to reflect the different roles, powers and aspects of his personality, like that of Phoebus, meaning “bright” or “shining” referring to its great beauty, of which he was proud, or its link with the sun. His bisexual nature, found in many other Greek mythological figures, led him to have numerous love affairs, with  women (Daphne, Cassandra, Marpessa, Melissa), and with men (Hyacinth, Zephyr, Licoreo, Asclepius, Admetus, Hymenaios).
Following what it is said about the relationship between Apollo and Hyacinth, also described by Homer,
here’s a personal  

erotic fancy scenario

(suitable for adults)

Apollo and Hyacinthus, 16th-century Italian engraving by Jacopo Caraglio

Apollo was madly in love with Hyacinth and just to be with him, he omitted all its major activities. They both spent hours in the woods where, in the stillness and to the shade of trees, were used to entertain and amuse themselves. Apollo loved to caress and kiss tenderly the companion, who felt attracted by The Sleep of Endymion by Anne-Louis Girodet (1818), Musée du Louvre, Paris.Apollo. However, the ambivalent character of Apollo led him to become often rude and quite violent, thing which did not like to the delicate and younger Hyacinth. Hugging each other, Hyacinth also liked caress and touch the more mature body of his boyfriend. A love really tender and intense. When the passion of Apollo was lit, he could not restrain himself and immediately asked the boy to suck his cock that in the meantime had become big and hard. While lying on the grass, his hands held Hyacinth’s head, driving its movements, but pushing to make sure that the boy’s mouth swallowed all the way down his cock, Apollon Embraces Hyacinthosbothering Hyacinth who felt to choke. Young and strong as he was, Phoebus was not satisfied by a simple suck and after having ejaculate for the first time, then asked the boy to squat onto his phallus, and holding with the hands his hips, brought him to come down until his cock was fully housed in the boy’s bowels. After a few moments of pain, Hyacinth enjoyed the penetration and gladly began to ride on the crotch of his tutor. After a while, the fatigue was not slow in coming, and to go ahead Apollo turned on his side, bringing the boy’s body, clinging to his, to lay on the ground, one behind the other. Through a slow and steady “to and fro” Apollo went on to fuck, savoring every inch of those tender Giulio_Romano_-_Apollo_Cyparissusinnards. Having nothing else to do and being so pleasant, they could remain for a long time to enjoy that carnal union. Only towards the end, when the second ejaculation was coming, Apollo gain the upper, and sprawling onto Hyacinth, completed the sexual act by violent and strong thrusts that forced the boy to sink his hands into the soil to keep himself firm on the ground.
They loved each other so, through a deep and passionate relationship, while time passed among games, jokes and sex.
One day Zephyr had to pass from there, and seeing Hyacinth alone playing in the woods, glided like a puff of air on the ground and began to speak with the guy. Although younger than him, Zephyr had fewer years than Apollo and it was love at first sight.

Louis_De_Boulogne_-_Zephyr_Crowning_FloraNot a day passed that Zephyr not return there to spend time with the boy and since a caress leads to another, it happened that the two had sex. Zephyr’s love was more platonic and sensual than Apollo, thing which appealed more Hyacinth, who preferred  sweetness more than spirited passion. When the boy saw that the story could not continue, tried to talk to Zephyr, but he was now too much in love to give up and maybe it was even the same Hyacinth to felt Apollo e Giacinto, dipinto a olio di Méry-Joseph Blondelsweetness towards Zephyr.
It was to be expected, and one day Apollo saw the two together and threw violently against Zephyr threatening and forbidding him to meet Hyacinth again and to never return in that place.
Zephyr could do nothing but retreat in good order but, blinded by jealousy swore to himself that he would avenged. Time passed and one day, while Apollo was playing at the discus-throw together Hyacinth, Zephyr was watching them from a distance, and decided to act quietly without being seen. Jealousy had clouded his mind and repeating “nothing for me nothing for nobody” blew on the discus that the two lovers had launched into the sky, forcing it to turn and come back at high speed, hitting mortally the head of the poor Hyacinth. Apollo barely managed to grab the boy’s body, while helplessly witnessed his death.
The_Death_of_HyacinthosBoth slumped to the ground, with Hyacinth lifeless in his arms, while Apollo were weeping and despairing.  Apollo tried to save the young man striving every known medical art, but nothing to do against the fate. Not being able to do anything else, then he decided to turn his beloved friend in a flower with an intense purple color, like the color of the blood spilled on the ground and on which even his tears were falling. Then, before going back to Heaven, leaning over the flower just created, Apollo with his tears drew on the petals the letters άί (ai which in Greek is an exclamation of pain), as a sign of undying grief felt for so much misfortune, which had deprived him of love of his young friend.
Flower that still bears the name of hyacinth.

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Hyacinthus_'Red_Magic'

 

 

Season feelings

Published December 27, 2011 by Tony

REFLECTIONS

xmas_feeling


Usual, during Christmas everyone becomes good and the good persons take a chance to be overwhelmed by feelings and, on occasion, even having tears in their eyes.

Certainly, it’s often difficult to tell the truth or telling others what we think. Harsh, indeed!
I could give many examples but it is holidays time and at Christmas just the family is placed first.
And I think….. sometimes family members connection is so labile.

How many parents think to know everything about their children or, conversely, how many things  offspring keep secret to their parents!?
For those who do not live near, Christmas is also time of messages, phone calls, postcards, letters, but who does say or write the truth?
Of course, parents love their children, but it happens that children having had parents too obsessive and demanding, then tell lies to make them happy simply.

A father who, back at home from work each night, says to his son “I do it for you, because one day you can become somebody!“, he will have him up against the wall for sure. The child will grow, study and will go on his own way, and then, if he didn’t become that “somebody” that his father hoped, what will he say to his father, whne they hear on phone.
How’s my son, how are things going“;
It’s OK dad, don’t’ worry, I still am the sales director of that important company, things going good“, while he probably is just a clerk in a shop.
My dear how are you. Why not come and visit us”;
Mom I am sorry, but you know … commitments lead me to travel without peace but everything is fine, do not worry “; and, if anything, the guy who was said to be a famous artist is only a nomad who lives by his wits.
And she? The daughter who does always say to have a nice family and living a happily peacefully life. She will probably be a single mother or divorced with a thousand problems.  Things that happen.
Telling the truth is really hard!
If you have not done it immediately, the reality becomes a wall that separates and sometimes forever.
There are words that are too heavy, some damn things that our culture inhibit our brain.
Who does have the courage to say: mum I’m gay; daddy I’m a lesbian; mom, dad, I’m not the first school; are not taken to make the manager; I have not the skills to become “somebody” as you also hadn’t….. and so on

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Italian Passion

Published December 2, 2011 by Tony

Frederick the Great’s Erotic Poem


It’s always been told that Italians and southern people are fiery and passionate and this was also known in the past, as evidenced by some letter of King Frederick II of Prussia. He even wrote an erotic poem in French called “Jouissance” (Sensual pleasure), where having recourse to Greek mythology, praised sex and orgasm during a night of love. The protagonists of this erotic story, described in detail, just were him and his lover Francesco Algarotti (an Italian essayist). It was written, according to correspondence with Voltaire (another close friend), in response to the Italian Algarotti friend’s contention, that northern Europeans were not as passionate as southern Europeans. Autograph letters and poem were found recently in the secret Prussian Archives in Berlin. The recently discovered manuscript is the original one owned by Algarotti. It was sent to Berlin in 1894, but was placed by Emperor William II in the Berlin archives where it has been ever since. The poem was printed in full in the German newspaper Die Zeit on September 15th.
In the end the king wrote,  “A moment of lust is worth as much to him who enjoys it as a century of honor.”

Francesco Algarotti   Frederick II

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Social animals

Published September 25, 2011 by Tony


MAN IS ALONE



Man is alone!
Many people have already realized this, while others sense this feeling for few fleeting moments during the day.
Man is a social animal, that is to say that he joins, and lives together with his peers and perhaps with an instinct of sociability or relational innate, as many philosophers have written.  I personally tend more towards the thought of the philosopher Hobbes and his concept of ‘”Homo hominis lupus”, ie that each individual tends above all to assert himself, even to the detriment of others in society and the meeting takes place only when one realizes that joining is better to solve common problems, to which it is difficult to cope alone. And that beyond a few rare cases of altruism or solidarity pulses.
But, my thoughts turns to something else, if the man is no longer ‘alone’ when he is together someone.
Is the physical presence and affection to make us feel not alone?
I think not.
A person can be with the loved one, with family members, with friends or with 1000 persons and be alone!
It is not my intent to debate the difficulties of human relationships, difficulties exacerbated in recent decades.
I mean that inside our nature is housing a primitive instinct of individualism, that makes us be alone (individual) no matter who or how many are together.
That ego, interior and superior, that dominates our mind and let us isolate ourself even when in crowds.
That one giving us the impulse to survive, which keeps our innermost hidden secrets, which alienates us confirming our diversity … I’m me and you’re you.
Together or divided we always remain two separate units.

As instinctively and inevitably lonely, human being tends to relate just to find understanding, dialogue, affection and feel less alone.
But whatever happens, he remains alone!
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